Recently I asked one man with whom I was living, how is it for him to be around my little kids. He is the father of a teenager now. He answered, „I am glad that this period in my life is over.”
I felt sadness. This is something that I hear very often from young parents. They are tired, overwhelmed, in difficulty and frustration, waiting for when this time will be over and when kids will fly away to create their lives. I don’t believe that parenting is about that. I felt sad because being next to small human beings is precious and I feel that because of the lack of tools and wisdom on how to hold space for them, adults are escaping from this space and not really seeing the opportunity that they have. I feel sad because I also recognize these patterns in me that I incorporated from my culture.
At the beginning of my parent’s journey, I felt a lot of fear. Fear of handling the emotions of my kids, fear of losing my center, fear of lack of energy, fear of losing my own purpose in life. All these fears drove me to the strategy to run away from the kids’ space. I was finding relief at work, meetings, calls, and any spaces where there were no my kids.
I felt that something is not working. I started to look for the reasons for what is going on. I discovered that besides my fears there were a lot of assumptions. Assumptions about what it means to be a mother. I assume that mother is always fulfilling the needs of kids, always available, always in service, their needs are more important than mine. I assume that I can’t express my feelings to them, I can’t follow my desires, I need to wait till my kids are at least a little older. I assume that I have to raise my kids alone with my partner as this is what responsible parents in modern culture do. All these assumptions made my parenting a job. And if it is a job, it means I am in service for my kids. That’s against nature.
And I asked myself the question, how come being with kids, having this pure Being just next to me can create so much tension in me? What is another way?
I didn’t know the answer but I felt my sadness telling me that I want to spend more time with my kids and that I want to have a village to raise kids together with other adults. I quit all my professional activities and I went to travel with my partner and kids. The research of this travel is how to live together as a family and create a life that nourishes our Beings and brings value to others, and how to live as a family in Archiarchy, which is the next culture after Patriarchy.
During this travel, I was in the Women’s space where we were planting the seed of Archiarchy that we carry in us. One of my seeds is about creating new children’s culture. I had a vision of all the school books burning. This vision said that in new children’s culture kids do not learn about the past. They are creating from the now. They source the information that is needed for us here and now. And our job as adults is to learn to listen to them and hold space for them so that they are connected to their Beings. This vision put a completely new light on my parenthood. I felt a lot of joy and fear for the encounter with my kids. I open up my curiosity and listen with my inner ear to what they are communicating, what they are creating in the space, what principles they bring, and what is their purpose. I have a strong feeling in me that skills like non-verbal communication, cavitating spaces, energetic healing, multidimensional travels, inventing new technologies, and doing magic will be a norm on the planet Earth soon. No one is teaching that in any school right now. And what the young generation is bringing to this planet can be a source of these skills, wisdom, clarity, and creation.
I know that kids learn mostly from observations. The adults are taught by who they are and what they do. That’s why for me being a mother is being first of all myself, living my Bright Principles, and delivering what my Archetypal Lineauge wants me to deliver. I am experimenting with the new identity of a mother, who is not dedicated only to raising kids but who is fulfilling her desires and following her impulses so that the kids can learn what Aliveness and Playing Full Out means. Somewhere deep in my bones, I remember that raising kids is a village job. That’s why I co-create the experiment of Bridge House, where two families with kids live together and share the space holding for kids so that adults can deliver their non-material value in the world.
One of our main principles is Family and we discover what an Archiarchal Family means. For me, family is not a connotation through the agreements or blood connection. What I experience for now is that a Family is a commitment to growth, awareness, love, and care towards each other. What came at the beginning of the process of “extending the family bubble” was facing my own family prisons such as “I care about my family because they will pay me off in the future”, “it will be not enough resources for everyone”, “my children are mine because I gave the birth to them”, “my kids are more important to me than other kids in the village”. Facing these realities brings me to the liquid state from where I can choose differently.
After a few weeks of living together, I already see how the dynamic between kids, adults, kids, and kids is shifting into the expansion of our Being and how much we as adults gain space to create when we share spaceholding with other adults. It feels so natural. The aliveness in the space that we are bringing is shifting the energy of the container that we are holding for kids. The awakening creation of us, as young parents, that was in the waiting mode is running now with a thick stream.
Being in the experiment of creating an Archiarchal Family brings me the next quest-ions. What is needed so that there is no distinction between parent and adult in the village? What is on the way to having this level of connection and collaboration so that we can operate as one, without the separating assumptions that something belongs to anyone?
